I figure it’s about time for this forum to address the topic of competitive eating. ‘Finally’, you are no doubt thinking, ‘something that everyone can relate to.’

After all, eating is a popular pastime in our society, and kind of important. So it stands to reason, then, that eating AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN IN AS SHORT A TIME AS IS PHYSICALLY ACHIEVABLE must be even more important.

And that explains why Joey Chestnut is such a revered – not to mention wealthy – figure: a bona fide celebrity in a large part of the developed world. What’s that you say? You haven’t heard of him? Then let me avail you of a few facts.

We are talking about a man who has been the world champion in his chosen, ahem, ‘sport’ since 2007, as decreed by the IFOCE (that’s the International Federation of Competitive Eating, of course – now don’t tell me you haven’t heard of them?). Joey currently holds world records in the following events/engorgements: pizza (45 slices in 10 minutes), chicken wings (182 in 30 minutes), jalapenos (118 in 10 minutes) and hot dogs (68 in 10 minutes). So eat your heart out, Usain Bolt! (Actually, Joey will probably oblige with that too once the IFOCE introduces its vital-organ-eating category.) [Ed: visit Joey's facebook page to catch a glimpse of his latest eating exploits or, dare we suggest, to become a fan!]

All of which brings me, somewhat circuitously I admit, to my point. Competitive eating is an example, albeit a rather literal and extreme one, of unsustainable consumption. In a strangely microcosmic way, it is a lesson to us all. Consumption is a fact of life, but sustenance must be sustainable – so let’s stop being ridiculous about it.

Ryan Wallman is a Senior Writer at WellmarkPerspexa, specialising in ultra-competitive marketing communications for the B2B, corporate and healthcare sectors.

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